Meditations of an anxious soul in quarantine - Silver Spring, MD - Day in the Life - Photographer

This time has been hard. It’s been raw, it’s been fraught with difficulty and tenuous emotions. And amidst the pain I am filled with gratitude. There are days when I’ve been brought to tears and there have been other days where I watch my life, as if from the outside and all I feel is a sense of droning numbness amidst the chaos. The news is dialed down and I watch out the window at those that pass as I feel somehow trapped within the walls of my anxious mind. During this time, relationships have been woven closer together and still social relationships are simultaneously strained. 

This time has made us all realize what is important and it has, I hope, made us better.

I realize now, that I had been trying to do too much. Before COVID-19, I had been seeing too many people and packing my schedule in an effort to do all-the-things. And that inevitably, this practice was not facilitating healthy boundaries or balance. I had not been spending enough quality time with my own family or myself for that matter. 

This realization struck me when my youngest started school back in January. Being the mother of two young children and realizing too slowly that the idea that I advocate for myself was important, I was elated when both girls were suddenly in school. I relished in those extra minutes where I was not pulled in every direction. I was able to sweat out any stress in downward dog and when feeling industrious, trip through the woods, my favorite podcast humming in my ears. After six years of around the clock parenting, I suddenly found I had time to pour myself another cup of coffee and even pour over a magazine.

Don’t get me wrong, it was fun for the first week. We were cautious and it was new and exciting and we were prepared, had been preparing for something just like this but different somehow. In those first weeks, I took to teaching the children at home and like a well rehearsed play (only improv) I impressed myself with my stamina and creativity. Soon however, I became wise to the reality of a child's attention span and my own level of impatience. Quarantine quickly lost its charm. 

Now, as quarantine day 150 approaches and I have not yet ventured out beyond the grocery store, I can feel the cold of isolation setting in. The word unhinged comes to mind.

As we await a vaccine, we mourn the loss of life and of our way of life and even still, as we view the society we thought we had lived in, we have grown to see a divide so deep that we often feel betrayed by our own shortsightedness. And I was just beginning to gain some independence. 

But it was a start. Those morning yoga sessions that I leaned into a little more because I had the time, allowed me to realize how much time I had been giving to everyone else. My self-confidence began to grow and the anxieties which had crept up on me, hanging like fog and settling dense and impenetrable on my chest were slowly lifted. And now these practices have become my solace.

So now when I wake, the insecurities thick in my view, there are spliced seconds of realization that my not being good enough is all a lie I choose to believe and how on a good day, which is most days if I’m being honest, I’m fine. And until I feel truly okay, I continue to dose myself with every hippie tincture I can find as I binge episodes of Star Trek Next Generation until I can again see past the insurmountable tasks.

Brené Brown once said, “What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.”  And as I think on this and on my privilege from the safety of my home that I get to be inside of and work from, all I can feel is immense gratitude.

(These images are from April. The text is from August. Sometimes it is a process—this process.)

Hiking for the Soul - Photography - Kensington, MD

As I try and find comfort during this time I often look out into nature. Bob Ross said it best when talking about painting in the context of nature,

And I often think of that in the context of photography. I look at a flower from above or I gaze at the world from atop a tree. Sometimes I lie on my back and watch the trees overhead and the space that makes up the seperation of that which is rooted to the ground and the sky.

As the news of our new realty set upon us we created a quarantine collective of families that decided to weather the storm in each others circles. There were hikes and dinners and in many ways life as normal was able to resume. Only life was anything but normal. Never the less, this community made us stronger together to weather the storm.

We supported each other and leaned on each other and when we were lucky swapped kids so that the adults could have some time to themselves. But on the day these photos were taken we knew nothing of what lay ahead of us. Only that we were setting out to weather it together come hell or high water.

Little flowers, plants and mushrooms have me thinking about starting my own painting project. What new hobbies or skills have you picked up in quarantine. Leave me a comment below—I would love to hear what you have been busy with.

In the fresh air and the beautiful scenery it is easy to appreciate all that is around me. Being outdoors makes me think deeply about our relationship to nature and our responsibility to preserve and protect it.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed I recommend stepping back into the past and listening to the likes of Bob Ross. you may find that the ASMR of his voice along with the sounds of his brushes on the canvas and the excess paint being tapped off onto his easel brings me a feeling of peace, I hope that it may also provide you with a feeling of euphoria and allow you to calm any anxiety you may be working though. Plus it always helps to surround yourselves with friends and family.

Happy photographing!

Cheesetique Shirlington - Shirlington, VA - Restaurant Photography

Of the various Cheesetique locations throughout Virginia the new Cheesetique Shirlington location is the first of its kind. It has a private family dining room as well as a larger seating area for banquets and private parties. Floor to ceiling glass allows the light to dance around the room and and eight food cheese case constructed of steel and glass enshrines the very fabric of its being. There is something magical within the space and it is a throwback to old world Parisian cheese shops.

I relished being behind my lens bringing to light all that I have loved over the years. There were the small vintner wines and the decadent Kingsbury Chocolates. Endless rows of cheeses and charcuterie and a menu that’s food list rivals that of the wine list. This new Shirlington location is surely a place to gather with friends, family and coworkers alike. If you’re looking for a place to dine I highly recommend this beautiful location.

Jill Erber, Owner & Founder

Now for some background. The year was 2010 and I had just relocated from Detroit to the sleepy and somehow bustling little town of Del Ray in Alexandria, VA. I was looking for work and walking from my then home past all of the small businesses and boutiques that lined Mount Vernon Ave. when I stumbled across my dream job. It was too good to be true…an independently owned cheese shop and wine bar!

Jill Erber, the founder and owner of Cheesetique had started small, selling cheese at the local farmers market and later had moved into a small location down the street from the current Del Ray location, where at the time I worked — the butcher shop stood. Then she acquired the current Del Ray space where the once Cheese Shop also transformed into a Wine Bar and Restaurant. A Cheese-Boutique if you will--hence: Cheesetique. I at once fell in love with the local community.

I was ecstatic and after interviewing with Sarah Mason, the then Retail Manager, I dove head first into the world of cheese. Overnight, I became a self proclaimed oenophile with gourmet taste. Maud Bentley the Restaurant Manager also during that time quickly taught me everything she knew about wine but in the end I may have retained more wine than knowledge as I rarely spit out the tasting samples. I also shared a space with the likes of Daryl Chrissman, the restaurant manager at the time and a stellar euchre player.

My gateway cheese years before had been Havarti with dill at a small unassuming shop outside of Detroit. Now I was experimenting with the likes of Ossau Iraty, a Franco-Basque sheep‘s milk cheese that is both nutty and grassy with hints of wildflowers, that today rivals among my favorites. Midnight Moon, a delectable goat’s milk cheese with it’s creamy and simultaneously crunchy texture that rounds out with a caramelly finish, and of course Harbison, with its delectable soft ripened center and it’s rind wrapped with spruce cambium, which I nearly named my first born after. In short, I was in heaven! At that time I found a job as a dog walker by day and a Cheesemonger by night.

Eventually I worked with the likes of Thomas Ferraro who had come back to manage after working at Murray’s in New York. I was surrounded by educators and friends. A pause here for thanks and gratitude to Sarah and Daryl, Maud, Tommy and countless others that I served with and for all that they taught me. These four went on to be entrepreneurs in their own right and if you click on their linked names above you can see and support their businesses as well. Jill cultivated an environment for creation and growth and is to this day a business woman that I admire.

Later, after I relocated I had the good fortune to continue to work with Jill as a photographer for her website and press releases showing off her restaurants as the Cheesetique brand expanded and to highlight the cheese centric dishes that make Cheesetique unique. Specifically, their famous Mac & Cheesetique that has been featured on “Best Mac and Cheese in America” in Food & Wine, Travel & Leisure as well as the HuffPost. of course when she contacted me for some photography for the new Shirlington location I was happy to cover it.

UPDATE: Being able to work in this field and support women owned and operated businesses like this one fills me with gratitude. As the nation comes together during this pandemic I am uplifted that there is a community like the one that I first found years ago working together for the good of all. Cheesetique is open for takeout and delivery — both the restaurant and retail participate with DoorDash. cheesetique.com